


At Least The Underwear Fit

by novakblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, first, human!Cas, oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 18:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novakblue/pseuds/novakblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel isn't taking the whole human thing so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Least The Underwear Fit

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is the first piece of work I've ever uploaded, so constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. And I don't have a beta, so any mistakes are mine. The characters aren't mine, of course. There aren't any spoilers, but Castiel is a human in this. The whole thing is mostly oneshots, just awkward kind of stuff. Oh, and thanks to Kate, because I've always been too terrified to upload before now, and she helped a lot with that.

First it starts when Dean and Cas have finally accepted the inevitable. Or, as Sam phrased it, that if they didn’t stop this entire intense eye-fucking and just kiss already, he’d lock them in the bunker and make them fuck it out. (Dean had taken this more seriously than he would have, because it wasn’t often your little brother told you to fuck off and have sex with your angel.)

And at first it’s kind of funny, because Castiel has all these strange things about him that they’d never really thought he might have. He doesn’t understand you can’t just take off your clothes when it’s hot, you can’t just lean past someone skin-on-skin to get something, that it’s generally considered intimate to be breathing down someone’s throat when they’re speaking. But all Dean does is laugh, and Sam just watches exasperatedly, and eventually Cas isolates himself in the guest room. And Dean doesn't check up on him, only asks Sam if he’s been give food and water. And Dean’s getting kind of lonely and the guilt is just a little too much, so he walks in and sees Cas just sitting on the bed, cross-legged and staring blankly. It’s kind of heart wrenching, so Dean walks over and sits next to him and starts kissing him, just dropping them all over his nose and mouth and cheek. But he hears a sound and Dean flinches and looks for a rifle but Cas ducks his head and some fucking cat walks out from under the bed and starts rubbing himself against Castiel’s ankle. And Castiel insists they keep him, that,

“She relies on me.”

And then Dean just has to share Castiel with this dumb cat that crawled in through the window.

And then it’s coffee, because Castiel _really_ isn’t a morning person, so Dean tries to make him coffee, and even though it wakes him up, Cas finds it disgusting. Sam refuses to go to Starbucks at this ungodly hour and says that if he just let Castiel wake up a little later, it’d be fine. But Castiel just can’t get back to sleep and for some reason he’s tuned to wake up ridiculously early. So Dean wakes up earlier than usual and makes the drive to Starbucks himself and explains himself to the barista and she gives him some fucking stare like ‘ _aw, he’s so in love._ ’ So Dean gets irritated and tries to call Castiel, but of course Castiel can barely string two words together and Sam just grabs the phone from Cas and says ‘Just get him something of everything!” before the phone dies because Cas still hasn’t gotten into the habit of charging the phone. And the barista is laughing, so she gets him lattes and cappuccino’s but Dean doesn’t know what the fuck any of this is, so he brings seven cups of these ridiculous coffees back to Castiel, who smiles.

And Castiel actually likes them so much, Dean writes down the ones he likes and it becomes a pastime for him to wake up and go to the coffee shop just so Castiel wakes up properly.

And one time Castiel comes home to find Dean in bed with a flu, and he doesn’t know how to use the internet or what to do, so he stays by Dean’s side and just kisses him and then after a few days he gets sick too, and Dean is laughing for ages before Sam comes home and shakes his head at both of them, giving them pills and water and extra blankets. But they keep leaning over, and Sam eventually snaps and says, “Look, you two are gonna keep fucking each other’s health up, so just stop _kissing_.” And Sam actually has to drag Dean into the next room, and he feels kind of guilty because Dean and Castiel are always complaining about being bored and yeah, a little lonely. And they finally get better after about a week and Sam knows they’re probably making out in a motel or something, but he doesn’t care because they’ve been unbearable and he never sees Dean really all that happy and he can’t stop fucking _sneezing_ either and they come home to see Sam curled up in a blanket and Dean just _laughs_.

After a while, when Dean finds more ways to comfort Cas about being human besides just making out, he finds Cas with a funny look on his face and Dean can barely breathe, he’s laughing so hard and they’re both bent over an old album and Dean is showing Castiel pictures of Sam when he was young and short and Dean was actually taller than him. So Sam starts arguing with Dean about who had worse acne and worse grades and worse taste in music (Dean retaliates that Sam still can’t tell quality music from bullshit) and eventually Sam starts talking about how Dean could barely keep a relationship up for more than a month and launches into this list of all these girlfriends and by now Cas looks kind of upset so he starts leaning over and kissing Dean’s neck and all Dean does is smile and start to kiss him back so Sam throws his hands up and shouts, “Goddammit, not in front of me!” Like some kind of six-foot-three five-year-old.

Eventually Sam has to take Cas shopping because there really isn't enough underwear in circulation mainly due to Dean and Castiel getting through a ridiculous amount in a suspiciously short amount of time, so Sam just watches Castiel pick out all these lacy undergarments because Castiel doesn’t really understand that there are different kinds of underwear for women and men. And they come home and Dean is mocking him at first but then he insists that Cas tries wearing them and Castiel _does_ actually look kind of hot, Dean says, and Sam rolls his eyes. After that, Sam keeps his underwear in a drawer and makes a mental note to never, _ever_ go clothes shopping with Dean and Castiel again.

Christmas is something else altogether, of course, because all Castiel does is complain about inaccuracy, that decorating a tree and placing it in the living room is hardly enough a sacrifice for Jesus, and anyway, Jesus was born in April.

But honestly, Castiel’s mood is lingering around Bobby’s place (they’re crashing there, because hunters need to take a break every once in a while) and it doesn’t help that Dean insists on kissing him every time they walk under this strange piece of greenery they have hung above the doors for no apparent reason, so Castiel just pulls away from Dean every time they get near a door. Which makes Dean tick enough, but Castiel downright snaps whenever Dean turns the radio on. “I’m trying to sleep!”

“For fuck’s sake, Cas, it’s two in the afternoon and you’re sitting on the couch watching commercials!”

“Just turn it off!”

“No, go shove a tree up your ass!” Dean shouts, and he storms out, leaving a shocked Castiel and a door slammed shut.

Except, Castiel kind of takes it to heart, because when Dean comes back, Bobby shoves him into the living room where Castiel is perched precariously on top of the Christmas tree, wobbling slightly and looking down anxiously. “Cas?”

Castiel swallows. “Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Angels – angels are supposed to sit on top of the tree, right?” And for some reason, Dean kind of wants to cry. Because he’s finally opened up to Castiel, former angel of the fucking _lord_ and Castiel has been reduced to a hunter’s boyfriend and an idiot on top of a Christmas tree. Castiel can’t fly down, of course, but he seems to forget. He lands not-so-gracefully on the floor, and Bobby walks out (he shakes his head, not solemnly, more like _these fucking idjits are supposed to save the world_ sort of thing.)

“Ugh.” Castiel mutters, rubbing his shins. Dean smiles, though it looks more like a pained grimace, and wraps his arms around him.

“I love you.” Dean mutters into Castiel’s hair.

“Mmph,” Castiel seems busy, nuzzling his nose into Dean’s chin, but he pulls back slightly, hands tightening below Dean’s shoulders.

“What did you say?” Dean’s eyes widen. This isn’t the first time he’s said this, right? Shit.

“I love you.” It is, apparently, because Castiel flushes and smiles and pulls Dean down for a kiss.

“Good. I love you too.”

Dean thinks maybe it was Sam who walked in, going by the quiet, retching sound he just heard, but he doesn’t really care.


End file.
